I want to stick my p in your. b.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
What a dumb baby whore.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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