That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
