Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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