saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the raccoons are back...
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