just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
