I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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