I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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