i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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