i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?