Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.