Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.

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  (214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had. (972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/y4qf
  Replies (13) Good night (2416) Bad night (696)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john

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  (917): i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere (1-917): no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john http://tfl.nu/sfec
  Replies (24) Good night (5835) Bad night (857)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

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  (740): He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over http://tfl.nu/br0o
  Replies (41) Good night (1321) Bad night (3010)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.

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  (503): Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare. http://tfl.nu/yoal
  Replies (32) Good night (6746) Bad night (1069)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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  (224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen
  Replies (12) Good night (7211) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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  (919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x
  Replies (11) Good night (5491) Bad night (995)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork

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  (412): im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork http://tfl.nu/m3k8
  Replies (10) Good night (2756) Bad night (1365)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.

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  (508): Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/xgp0
  Replies (5) Good night (2392) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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  (903): We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer? http://tfl.nu/09oa
  Replies (2) Good night (1464) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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  (720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi
  Replies (5) Good night (1327) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you believe in miracles?

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  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
  Replies (5) Good night (1440) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (909) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.

  (562): View more from California

  I love my job.

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  (562): Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night. (562): I love my job. http://tfl.nu/bsab
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.

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  (248): We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude. http://tfl.nu/yzil
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (220)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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  (847): Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager. http://tfl.nu/eykt
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (279)

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