Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course

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  (302): I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course http://tfl.nu/mcvz
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (968) Bad night (2242) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

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  (416): Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up http://tfl.nu/zoaj
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  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (1829) Bad night (10068) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing

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  (302): Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing http://tfl.nu/ldmu
  Replies (16) Good night (976) Bad night (4212) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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  (724): Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part. http://tfl.nu/1dsi
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

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  (330): I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come. http://tfl.nu/lijh
  Replies (4) Good night (1640) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

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  (407): A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke http://tfl.nu/oufu
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (2087) Order T-Shirt
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  (247): View more from

  That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.

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  (247): That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes. http://tfl.nu/fpdo
  Replies (6) Good night (1305) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?

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  (403): Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker? http://tfl.nu/tlpb
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!

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  (410): Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey. (410): By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey! http://tfl.nu/tmhf
  Replies (15) Good night (2250) Bad night (638)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  (612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf
  Replies (4) Good night (771) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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  (248): I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger http://tfl.nu/4bsz
  Replies (8) Good night (460) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.

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  (347): Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm. http://tfl.nu/3ccq
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt

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