Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
