They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
