I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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