I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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