there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
