make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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