Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
