did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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