i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
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Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
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Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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