$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
