she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
