I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
