Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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