um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
