Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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