at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I want is dick and wine.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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