you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
