I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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