just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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