She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you had me at cake vodka
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
