i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
