apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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