i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
