we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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