K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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