He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
