you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
