My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize