you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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