I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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