There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
