Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
