It's like God shit irony all over that family
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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