If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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