I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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