I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
