I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
