My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
