over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
