..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize