I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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