i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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