i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
