so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
