Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
