i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
