What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
