4 words: hood of his car
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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