Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
