At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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