I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
