I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
