dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
