I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
